Connection Is Protection Launches Today for Mental Health Month
New national research from Relationships Australia NSW has found three key issues affect Australians’ relationships: a skills gap, lack of connection, and delays in seeking help
Just one in three Australians were taught how to handle a difficult conversation in their relationships while growing up. Some 53% of Gen X say they were not taught these skills, compared with 40% of Baby Boomers, 36% of Millennials and 32% of Gen Z.
"We teach our young people to read, write and drive a car. Far less attention goes to how they handle a hard conversation with someone they love,"
said Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW (RANSW).
"Most of us are working it out on the fly, at a time when we can least afford to get it wrong."
Australians are feeling lonely and disconnected RANSW’s Connection Is Protection report also found that 17% of Australians felt lonely often or very often in the past month.
"Most people feel lonely from time to time. What concerns us is that this 17% is equivalent to well over three million adults,"
Ms Shaw said.
“We know persistent loneliness can have a real impact on mental health, and it's why we need to treat relationships as part of how we stay well."
Four in five Australians say something made it harder for them to feel connected to others over the past year.
Women report more of that pressure than men, at 85% compared with 76%.
Ms Shaw said the factors will feel very familiar to many.
“We found some 42% point to tiredness or low energy, 39% to the cost of living and 37% to feeling down or anxious. One in four say feeling lonely or having no one to reach out to made it harder still, which is worrying.”
“And it turns out your mum and grandad were right. The research found phones often or very often get in the way of meaningful conversations with people they care about for 18% of Australians, rising to 28% among Gen Z.”
Help that comes too late
Just 9% of Australians seek help when a relationship first begins to feel strained.
Most wait for something worse: 17% until conflict becomes regular, 24% until it affects their mental health, and 13% until the relationship is close to breaking down.
Almost three in ten (29%) never seek help at all.
Men are more likely than women to say they never seek help, at 31% compared with 26%.
Women more often wait until a relationship affects their mental health, at 28% compared with 20%.
“What we don’t want to see is people only thinking about support when a crisis is looming. This research shows that people are waiting until a relationship is already in regular conflict or worse, and men are the least likely to reach out at all,"
Ms Shaw said.
"Getting support earlier gives people more opportunity to work through problems before they escalate.”
Three ways to close the gaps
Ms Shaw says that when relationships are working well, Australians feel the difference.
Some 62% say they feel less stressed or anxious, 61% feel emotionally supported and 57% feel more confident.
RANSW is calling for action on each of the three gaps the research identified:
• Take small steps towards connection. Take the walk, make the call, set up the coffee, go to the community event. Among those who used each type of support, 75% found talking to a friend helpful, compared with 37% for online forums and peer support groups.
• Seek relationship support earlier. Don't wait for a crisis before asking for help. If it were accessible and affordable, 39% of Australians would consider couples counselling as a regular check-in, 34% a relationship health check and 33% support recommended by their GP. • Put relationships on the prevention agenda. RANSW wants to work with government to explore how relationship skills and earlier support can become a greater part of Australia's approach to prevention. Among Australians whose relationships had a positive impact on their mental health, 39% had been taught these skills, compared with 22% of those whose relationships had a negative effect.
"We get regular check-ups for our teeth and our hearts, but not our relationships. That’s despite us knowing the quality of our relationships is closely linked to our health,"
said Ms Shaw.
"If relationships are part of what keeps us well, they should be part of how we think about prevention.”
Connection Is Protection launches today alongside a new campaign film and microsite.
The six-part podcast Are We Good? follows later in October.
